ABOUT LISTENING
The act of mindfully hearing and attempting to comprehend the meaning of words spoken by another in a conversation or speech. Activity listening is an important business communication skill, and it can involve making sounds that indicate attentiveness, as well as the listener giving feedback in the form of a paraphrased rendition of what has been said by the other party for their confirmation.
If you want to become a fluent speaker in English, you have to develop your listening skills. Listening will help you to understand what others are saying to you. It will also help you to speak more clearly to people and to be understood by people. Listening is a reciprocal process: if you listen to people, people will listen to you. To improve your listening skills, you need to understand why listening is important, find out the basic steps to listening, and learn the secrets of becoming an excellent listener. Do a few practical listening exercises. Listen and show respect to others. This will help you to improve communication with people.
Click, watch and listen:
Improving Your Listening Skills (lecture).
The power of listening | William Ury | TEDxSanDiego (about effective listening).
This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. William Ury explains how listening is the essential, and often overlooked, half of communication.
English Listening - How To Improve Your English Listening
Oxford Online English.
How To Improve Your Listening Skills (practical tips).
Test your Listening Skills.
Developing Listening Skills.
Listening Test Preparation Material
Five Strategies to Improve Your English Listening Skills
Listening Tasks
Listen to the lecture "What People Say When They Don't Know What to Say" and prepare to answer the following questions:
- What did the lecturer mean when she said, "People say a lot of things when they do not know what to say?"
- What had happened to the lecturer?
- What did you learn from this lecture?
- Who gave the lecture? Find more information about the lecturer's life.
Vlog
A vlog is a “video log” where someone updates you on what is happening. A vlog is a blog that contains video content. Video content distributed in this way is sometimes called a vodcast. In a vlog, one talks to the camera on a personal level:
Cancer Vlog
Lectures
Negotiation
The Art of Negotiation | Maria Ploumaki
Career Why you will fail to have a great career,
Larry Smith
About Profession Talking about your profession in English:
3 easy ways & 3 advanced ways
Active Listening
Active listening is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice. However, active listening can be difficult to master and will, therefore, take time and patience to develop.
'Active listening' means, as its name suggests, actively listening. That is fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively ‘hearing’ the message of the speaker.
Active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the ‘active listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening - otherwise the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener.
Interest can be conveyed to the speaker by using both verbal and non-verbal messages such as maintaining eye contact, nodding your head and smiling, agreeing by saying ‘Yes’ or simply ‘Mmm hmm’ to encourage them to continue. By providing this 'feedback' the person speaking will usually feel more at ease and therefore communicate more easily, openly and honestly.
Listening is the most fundamental component of interpersonal communication skills.
Listening is not something that just happens (that is hearing), listening is an active process in which a conscious decision is made to listen to and understand the messages of the speaker. Listeners should remain neutral and non-judgmental, this means trying not to take sides or form opinions, especially early in the conversation. Active listening is also about patience - pauses and short periods of silence should be accepted. Listeners should not be tempted to jump in with questions or comments every time there are a few seconds of silence. Active listening involves giving the other person time to explore their thoughts and feelings, and they should, therefore, be given adequate time for that.
Active listening not only means focusing fully on the speaker but also actively showing verbal and non-verbal signs of listening. Generally, speakers want listeners to demonstrate ‘active listening’ by responding appropriately to what they are saying. Appropriate responses to listening can be both verbal and non-verbal:
Signs of Active Listening
Non-Verbal Signs of Attentive or Active Listening
Smile
Small smiles can be used to show that the listener is paying attention to what is being said or as a way of agreeing or being happy about the messages being received. Combined with nods of the head, smiles can be powerful in affirming that messages are being listened to and understood.
Eye Contact
It is normal and usually encouraging for the listener to look at the speaker. Eye contact can, however, be intimidating, especially for more shy speakers – gauge how much eye contact is appropriate for any given situation. Combine eye contact with smiles and other non-verbal messages to encourage the speaker.
Posture
Posture can tell a lot about the sender and receiver in interpersonal interactions. The attentive listener tends to lean slightly forward or sideways whilst sitting. Other signs of active listening may include a slight slant of the head or resting the head on one hand.
Mirroring
Automatic reflection/mirroring of any facial expressions used by the speaker can be a sign of attentive listening. These reflective expressions can help to show sympathy and empathy in more emotional situations. Attempting to consciously mimic facial expressions (i.e. not the automatic reflection of expressions) can be a sign of inattention.
Distraction
The active listener will not be distracted and therefore will refrain from fidgeting, looking at a clock or watch, doodling, playing with their hair or picking their fingernails.
See more at http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/active-listening.html
We Spend a lot of Time Listening
Adults spend an average of 70% of their time engaged in some communication, of this an average of 45% is spent listening compared to 30% speaking, 16% reading and 9% writing. (Adler, R. et al. 2001).
Find more at: http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-skills.html#ixzz408Zh68Xf
Active listening requires concentration and the use of your other senses - not just hearing the words spoken.
Listening is not the same as hearing and to listen effectively you need to use more than just your ears.
Find more at http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-skills.html#ixzz408ap2QAP
The 10 Principles of Listening
A good listener will listen not only to what is being said, but also to what is left unsaid or only partially said.
Effective listening involves observing body language and noticing inconsistencies between verbal and non-verbal messages.
For example, if someone tells you that they are happy with their life but through gritted teeth or with tears filling their eyes, you should consider that the verbal and non-verbal messages are in conflict, they maybe don't mean what they say.
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Stop Talking
“If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one ear.” Mark Twain.
Don't talk, listen. When somebody else is talking listen to what they are saying, do not interrupt, talk over them or finish their sentences for them. Stop, just listen. When the other person has finished talking, you may need to clarify to ensure you have received their message accurately.
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Prepare Yourself to Listen
Relax
Focus on the speaker. Put other things out of mind. The human mind is easily distracted by other thoughts – what’s for lunch, what time do I need to leave to catch my train, is it going to rain – try to put other thoughts out of mind and concentrate on the messages that are being communicated.
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Put the Speaker at Ease
Help the speaker to feel free to speak.
Remember their needs and concerns. Nod or use other gestures or words to encourage them to continue.
Maintain eye contact but don’t stare – show you are listening and understanding what is being said.
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Remove Distractions
Focus on the content.
Don’t doodle, shuffle papers, look out the window, pick your fingernails or similar. Avoid unnecessary interruptions. These behaviours disrupt the listening process and send messages to the speaker that you are bored or distracted.
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Empathise
Try to understand the other person’s point of view.
Look at issues from their perspective. Let go of preconceived ideas. By having an open mind, we can more fully empathise with the speaker. If the speaker says something that you disagree with then wait and construct an argument to counter what is said but keep an open mind to the views and opinions of others.
Find more at http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-skills.html#ixzz408cC10pE
Be Patient
A pause, even a long pause, does not necessarily mean that the speaker has finished.
Be patient and let the speaker continue in their own time, sometimes it takes some time to formulate what to say and how to say it. Never interrupt or finish a sentence for someone.
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Avoid Personal Prejudice
Try to be impartial.
Don't become irritated and don't let the person’s habits or mannerisms distract you from what the speaker is saying. Everybody has a different way of speaking - some people are for example more nervous or shy than others, some have regional accents or make excessive arm movements, some people like to pace while talking - others like to sit still. Focus on the content and try to ignore styles of delivery.
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Listen to the Tone
Volume and tone both add to what someone is saying.
A good speaker will use both volume and tone to their advantage to keep an audience attentive; everybody will use pitch, tone and volume of voice in certain situations – let these help you to understand the emphasis of what is being said.
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Listen to Ideas – Not Just Words
You need to get the whole picture, not just isolated bits and pieces.
Maybe one of the most challenging aspects of listening is the ability to link together pieces of information to reveal the ideas of others. Proper concentration and focus become easier when we link things together.
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Wait and Watch for Non-Verbal Communication
Gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements can all be significant.
We don’t just listen with our ears but also with our eyes – watch and pick up the additional information being transmitted via non-verbal communication.
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General Listening Types:
The two main types of listening - the foundations of all listening sub-types are:
Discriminative Listening
Comprehensive Listening
Discriminative Listening
Discriminative listening is first developed at a very early age – perhaps even before birth, in the womb. This is the most basic form of listening and does not involve the understanding of the meaning of words or phrases but merely the different sounds that are produced. In early childhood, for example, a distinction is made between the sounds of the voices of the parents – the voice of the father sounds different to that of the mother.
Discriminative listening develops through childhood and into adulthood. As we grow older and develop and gain more life experience, our ability to distinguish between different sounds is improved. Not only can we recognise different voices, but we also develop the ability to recognise subtle differences in the way that sounds are made – this is fundamental to ultimately understanding what these sounds mean. Differences include many subtleties, recognising foreign languages, distinguishing between regional accents and clues to the emotions and feelings of the speaker.
Being able to distinguish the subtleties of sound made by somebody who is happy or sad, angry or stressed, for example, ultimately adds value to what is actually being said and, of course, does aid comprehension. When discriminative listening skills are combined with visual stimuli, the resulting ability to ‘listen’ to body-language enables us to begin to understand the speaker more fully – for example recognising somebody is sad despite what they are saying or how they are saying it.
Example
Imagine yourself surrounded by people who are speaking a language that you cannot understand. Perhaps, passing through an airport in another country, you can probably distinguish between different voices, male and female, young and old and also gain some understanding of what is going on around you based on the tone of voice, mannerisms and body language of the other people. You do not understand the words but by using your discriminative listening skills, you gain some level of comprehension of your surroundings.
Comprehensive Listening
Comprehensive listening involves understanding the message or messages that are being communicated. Like discriminative listening, comprehensive listening is fundamental to all listening sub-types.
To be able to use comprehensive listening and therefore gain understanding the listener first needs appropriate vocabulary and language skills. Using overly complicated language or technical jargon, therefore, can be a barrier to comprehensive listening. Comprehensive listening is further complicated by the fact that two different people listening to the same thing may understand the message in two different ways. This problem can be multiplied in a group setting, like a classroom or business meeting where numerous different meanings can be derived from what has been said.
Comprehensive listening is complimented by sub-messages from non-verbal communication, such as the tone of voice, etc. These non-verbal signals can significantly aid communication and comprehension but can also confuse and potentially lead to misunderstanding. In many listening situations it is vital to seek clarification and use skills such as reflection aid comprehension.
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Specific Listening Types
Discriminative and comprehensive listening are prerequisites for specific listening types.
Listening types can be defined by the goal of the listening. The three most important types most common in interpersonal relationships are:
- Informational Listening (Listening to Learn)
- Critical Listening (Listening to Evaluate and Analyse)
- Therapeutic or Empathetic Listening (Listening to Understand Feeling and Emotion)
In reality, you may have more than one goal for listening at any given time – for example, you may be listening to learn while also attempting to be empathetic.
Informational Listening
Whenever you listen to learn something, you are engaged in informational listening. This is true in many day-to-day situations, in education and at work, when you listen to the news, watch a documentary, when a friend tells you a recipe or when you are talked through a technical problem with a computer – there are many other examples of informational listening too.
Although all types of listening are ‘active’ – they require concentration and a conscious effort to understand. Informational listening is less active than many of the other types of listening. When we’re listening to learn or be instructed we are taking in new information and facts; we are not criticising or analysing. Informational listening, especially in formal settings like in work meetings or while in education, is often accompanied by note taking – a way of recording key information so that it can be reviewed later. (See Note-Taking for more details.)
Critical Listening
We can be said to be engaged in critical listening when the goal is to evaluate or scrutinise what is being said. Critical listening is a much more active behaviour than informational listening and usually involves some sort of problem-solving or decision-making. Critical listening is akin to critical reading; both involve analysis of the information being received and alignment with what we already know or believe. Whereas informational listening may be mostly concerned with collecting facts and new information - critical listening is about analysing opinion and making a judgement.
When the word ‘critical’ is used to describe listening, reading or thinking it does not necessarily mean that you are claiming that the information you are listening to is somehow faulty or flawed. Rather, critical listening means engaging in what you are listening to by asking yourself questions such as, ‘what is the speaker trying to say?’ or ‘what is the main argument being presented?’, ‘how does what I’m hearing differ from my beliefs, knowledge or opinion?’. Critical listening is, therefore, fundamental to real learning. (Also see our page: Critical Reading).
Many day-to-day decisions that we make are based on some form of ‘critical’ analysis, whether it be critical listening, reading or thought. Our opinions, values and beliefs are based on our ability to process information and formulate our feelings about the world around us as well as weigh up the pros and cons to make an informed decision.
It is often important when listening critically, to have an open mind and not be biassed by stereotypes or preconceived ideas. By doing this, you will become a better listener and broaden your knowledge and perception of other people and your relationships.
Therapeutic or Empathic Listening
Empathic listening involves attempting to understand the feelings and emotions of the speaker – to put yourself into the speaker’s shoes and share their thoughts. (See our page: What is Empathy? for more information).
Empathy is a way of deeply connecting with another person and therapeutic or empathic listening can be particularly challenging. Empathy is not the same as sympathy; it involves more than being compassionate or feeling sorry for somebody else – it involves a deeper connection – a realisation and understanding of another person’s point of view.
Counsellors, therapists and some other professionals use therapeutic or empathic listening to understand and ultimately help their clients. This type of listening does not involve making judgements or offering advice but gently encouraging the speaker to explain and elaborate on their feelings and emotions. Skills such as clarification and reflection are often used to help avoid misunderstandings. (See our further pages: What is Counselling?, Clarification and Reflection for more information on these topics).
We are all capable of empathic listening and may practise it with friends, family and colleagues. Showing empathy is a desirable trait in many interpersonal relationships – you may well feel more comfortable talking about your feelings and emotions with a particular person. They are likely to be better at listening empathetically to you than others; this is often based on similar perspectives, experiences, beliefs and values – a good friend, your spouse, a parent or sibling for example.
Find more at http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-types.html#ixzz408eL8Auc
Other Listening Types
Although usually less important or useful in interpersonal relationships, there are other types of listening that we engage in.
Appreciative Listening
Appreciative listening is listening for enjoyment. A good example is listening to music, especially as a way to relax. (See our page: Music Therapy for more).
Rapport Listening
When trying to build rapport with others, we can engage in a type of listening that encourages the other person to trust and like us. A salesperson, for example, may make an effort to listen carefully to what you are saying as a way to promote confidence and potentially make a sale. This type of listening is common in situations of negotiation. (See: Building Rapport and Negotiation Skills for more information).
Selective Listening
It is a more negative type of listening. It implies that the listener is somehow biassed to what they are hearing. Bias can be based on preconceived ideas or emotionally involved communications. Selective listening is a sign of failing communication – you cannot hope to understand if you have filtered out some of the messages and may reinforce or strengthen your bias for future communications.
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Listening and Developing Note Taking Skills
(Lectures for note taking)
Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en#t-237315
Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en#t-237315
